


Better This Way

by knightlite



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Explicit Consent, Frottage, Gender Dysphoria, Intercrural Sex, M/M, Non-Penetrative Sex, Trans Dean Winchester, Trans Male Character, Transgender, brief mention of Castiel/April, idk when this is even set but cas is fallen/human
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-02
Updated: 2017-10-02
Packaged: 2019-01-05 01:03:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12179853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/knightlite/pseuds/knightlite
Summary: Sex has always been complicated for Dean, but he's willing to give it another chance with the angel he trusts.





	Better This Way

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger warning for very brief mentions of past dysphoria and consensual underage sex.
> 
> In case there's confusion, Dean refers to his 'clit' as his cock.

Castiel runs his hands gingerly over the length of Dean’s arms and shivers. This is new; this is all new territory and Dean’s not sure whether to lean in more or start running. He considers both when Cas mouths softly down his neck, a trail of kiss marks in his wake. The skin on his palms is warm and rough and it takes all Dean has not to sink right into them, because he thinks he might never find his way out again if he does. And he whines a bit, a pitiful noise from his throat, when Castiel loosens his grip for a moment to readjust.

It isn't really his 'first time', Dean supposes, even if his stomach's doing backflips like it is. He's fooled around with guys before, a few times--rough, mindless and mechanical--flings in high school with boys that could hardly remember his name. Not that he could hold that against them, really, he'd barely remembered theirs either.

Something about it felt distinctly like being claimed--five minutes of awkward jack-hammering in parts he tried hard to forget he had. Cas had mentioned something similar about his time with the reaper, April.  _Repetitive_ , he'd called it, as if talking about the weather. _Pleasant in some respects, I suppose._

But this wasn't like either of those times.

Castiel’s touch is gentle--to a fault, almost, fingers floating light like butterflies over calloused skin. He takes his time and backtracks almost more than he goes forward, breath catching in his throat when he thinks he's done something wrong, like any quick movement will send Dean bolting in the other direction. Dean can't really blame him, though--this is all new to him, too. Kissing, touching, being human--the whole deal dropped on his doorstep at once. It wasn't that long ago now; at least, not after eons of stoic celibacy.

So, Castiel really likes kissing. He squirms under Dean's touch, and groans appreciatively at every new touch.

Cas kisses a scar on Dean's shoulder, right where his handprint used to be, and Dean's breath catches in his throat at the memory. He's got more scars than he can count. Even after Cas had stitched him up, remade him whole--he'd replaced old ones with new before the year was out. That’s just the way of the job, he figures. Doesn't make much difference to him.

Dean shivers at the feeling as Cas traces his scars one by one.

They've done this a few times--the kissing. Secret trysts in motel rooms when Sam's on a different hunt. Sometimes it’s more. Cas, ever the hopeless virgin for all his newly-forged experience, could come from this alone, he knows. Cas kisses more, exploring deeper, and Dean can feel him hot and hard already underneath his slacks. He moans again.

" _Nnngh_  Cas." He breathes.

"Dean." Castiel replies, earnest as ever.

The other man's fingers hover over Dean’s groin, like a question poised for answering. _Tonight?_ It asks, trembling in the space just above his heat. Always, before, Dean’s hand would redirect and they'd go back to feeling each other through two layers of clothes. But he doesn't tug Cas' hands away.

"Can I... touch you?" Cas asks, brows furrowing. He knows how much this means to Dean.

A momentary cold spike run down Dean's spine, and a memory of touch.

"I uh." He swallows. "I don't know if that's such a good idea."

Cas pulls his hands away.

"I've upset you." He says, frowning. "Am I not doing this correctly?"

Dean sighs. "You’re fine, Cas. More than fine. I've just got...  _issues,_ with the whole _..._ "

He gestures vaguely at himself.

"I see." Castiel replies. Except he's still got that look on his face he gets when he's confused--head tilted, eyes searching for answers from Dean's eyes, from Dean's body beside him on the bed.

Dean rubs his thumb against the other man's wrist. Thinking.

"Perhaps, if you _showed_ me..." Cas says, cautiously, and doesn't quite seem to know how to finish that sentence. But Dean gets the gist of it.

He considers things.

"Okay." Dean says, after a moment. Okay.

He wants this—has wanted it for years and years, and wants it now, with all his blood pumping its way south.

Dean takes a deep breath and unzips his jeans. "But if I need to tap out, I will." He adds quickly, with a glare, and Cas nods his head, caught up in the scene before him.

Hesitantly, Dean drops his pants and boxers to the floor, leaving himself standing in nothing at all. It's slightly nerve-wracking, being exposed like this; the cool air striking goosebumps along his skin.

He sees Cas lick his lips from where he sits on the bed.

"You too, beautiful." He says with a nervous shudder and a wink, and steps forward. Very slowly, he unzips Cas' slacks and grasps the hard length through his briefs, giving it a gentle squeeze and a stroke.

Cas bites back a moan.

“Dean.” Castiel breathes, and something about the way he says it feels positively desperate. Like Dean’s got his heart in his hands instead of his cock. He writhes under the other man's touch. "That's--that's--"

"Feels better this way, doesn't it?" Dean says, lips half-curled into a smirk.

"Very much so." The ex-angel replies, finally. He sighs when Dean rubs him again. With a few practiced moves, Dean rids Cas of his clothing.

Dean lowers them both to the bed, straddling himself to sit right in the space between Cas' legs. Cas' cock is distractingly warm and heavy where it presses against his stomach.

He takes Cas by both wrists and guides his hands. One he lets rest just above his hip. The other he guides to where his thighs meet in the middle. Two of Cas' fingers brush up against Dean's cock, softly, and he moans his encouragement. Seeing him unsure how to proceed from there, Dean grabs Cas' fingers and circles them gently over his cock, where his heartbeat is so strong he thinks that surely Cas can feel it. His fingers slip and lose their place a few times in the slickness of it; Cas' movements are awkward, stilted, and a little overambitious. But hell if it doesn't make Dean moan all the same.

Reaching over to the dresser beside the bed, he grabs some lube from atop the drawers and warms it quickly in his hands. He squirts a bit into his palm.

"Oh, you are  _so_ going to enjoy this." Dean says with a grin.

He thinks Cas might come from his hands alone, he’s so close already--and Dean has half a mind to make it so, with the noises coming out of his mouth. With one slicked hand, he slides a loose grip up and down the ex-angel’s cock a few times, savoring the feel of it in his palm, and flicks his thumb across the slit for good measure.

Cas whimpers and bites his lip, holding back, but Dean squeezes gently at the base and nips at his ear.

“Dean, I think I’m—"

"Soon." Dean answers, a whisper in his ear. "Not yet." He says.

Cas nods but he doesn’t dare to answer.

Then Dean shifts his hips, and he rests Cas' cock just parallel to where his own is, buried shallow where his lower lips part. He thrusts up once, then back down, the two of them pressed against each other, and Castiel gasps. Dean smiles at that, and takes it as a sign for more.

Rubbing a bit more lube on himself, he takes Castiel in just a little deeper between his folds, and lines them up again. Warm and wet and pounding in his hardness, he thrusts up and down along the side of Cas' cock like he's riding it. He readjusts again and presses his thighs together, enveloping Cas in warm skin around his base. The weight of the other man’s cock between his thighs, the tip of it brushed against his own, feels like his own personal slice of Heaven.

Cas is openly panting now, and he is too. He lowers one hand to fondle Cas' balls, pleasantly warm and drawn tight.

 

Bright lights spark behind his eyes and he's coming, convulsing over Cas' cock as they both let go. He feels a warm stickiness spurt onto his chest and between his thighs--once, twice, and then a third time, even.

Dean's heart is in his ears, and when he slumps against Castiel's chest, he can hear his beating too. Erratic at first, then slowed, until they're beat for beat at the same time.

* * *

 

It takes a while for the brain fog to clear, and for both of them to catch their breaths. When they do, Cas is the first to speak.

"I've never done that before." He admits, eyes flicking downwards to avert Dean's gaze.

Dean smiles at that and pats Cas on the thigh.

"Hey, me neither." He says.

"Do you think, um... that we could do that again?"

And he swears if the man weren't already red from post-orgasmic haze that he'd be blushing crimson. Dean can't keep from laughing when he sees the ex-angel's face. 

"Damn, Cas. Round two already? You got heavenly viagra stashed somewhere?"

"Well, actually--"

"Yes."

"You--what?" Cas asks.

"I said yeah; yeah, I'd like to." Dean says, and stifles a yawn. He's flat on the mattress where he lays next to Castiel; his eyelids feeling heavier by the minute. "Just give me my four hours and like a snack or something." 

They lay in silence for a moment.

"And, Cas?" Dean mumbles, eyes already closed and halfway towards a dream.

 _"I like it better this way."_ He thinks, not sure if he says it out loud.

He smiles as he drifts asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> My first attempt at writing nsfw and second fic ever so I'm sorry if it sounds kinda clunky. Thanks for reading! Let me know if you liked it :)


End file.
